


I Will Love You Till The End Of Time

by JezebelTheWicked



Category: Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance, frnkiero andthe cellabration
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asshole Gerard, Blow Jobs, Cheating, F/M, Fights, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Manipulative Lindsey, Rimming, Rope Bondage, Sweet Frank, Switching, Whipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:46:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JezebelTheWicked/pseuds/JezebelTheWicked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the tale of Frerard- from how they were just starting out in the Bullets era, to the unfortunate end of My Chemical Romance.</p><p>Frank Iero loves his boyfriend, Gerard Way, and his band. Things are going well until he and MCR embark on the Projekt Revolution tour, and Frank meets the beautiful, cunning, Lindsey Ballato. Gerard is quick to fall under her spell, and Frank wonders just how far Lindsey is willing to go to steal Gerard from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Closer

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone, brand new author here, and I'm so excited to share my very first fic with you all!  
> About this story:  
> I was always so curious about Frerard, and how they managed to be together with the band and all, and what possible problems may have arisen. So I decided to write my own version of what I think happened. 
> 
> Let me just say up front, yes you may see things that actually happened to the band (like the Frerard fight), but my interpretations are purely fiction. Also, the time period. I go from the Bullets era, to the now current Hesitant Alien and FIATC eras. So there are huge and small time jumps, that may not make sense and I apologize for that. 
> 
> Also, some of you may be curious about the Lindsey tag. Okay, I'm just gonna say that I am in no way jealous or angry at Lindsey Way for "marrying my idol" or whatever. The same thing goes for Jamia. I think that the two are great matches for Frank and Gerard, and I'm very happy for them both. Again, these are just my ideas for the characters. 
> 
> One more thing- this chapter is 3,000+ words long. I'm so sorry for that! I had no idea it was so long winded!
> 
> That's all for now! Enjoy the chapter, and I'll see you at the end! :)

“Frank, c’mon, come out with us,” Ray pushed. I shook my head no for the thousandth time.

“Seriously, guys, I’m just not up for it,” I said, ignoring Mikey’s puppy dog eyes. 

“Ughhhh,” Ray moaned. “You’re so boring.”

“Who’s boring?” said a voice, tinged with a New Jersey accent. My face lit up unexpectedly. 

“Frank. He won’t come out with us,” Ray told Gerard. 

“Hmmm.” Gerard walked over to me, his inky black hair falling in front of his eyes. He knelt down in front of me and looked into my eyes. I blushed, lowered my gaze to his lips, then looked back up. Gerard’s eyes were nearly black with barely controlled want. 

“Frank,” Gee drawled in that irresistible voice that made girls and guys scream. “Ray thinks you’re boring. Do you agree?”

“N-no,” I stuttered. “I’m just not feeling well…”

“Well there’s your answer, Ray,” he said firmly. Ray pouted. 

“Are you coming out?” Mikey asked, pointing an accusing finger at his older brother. 

“I was actually gonna stay in as well. And if Frankie’s not feeling well, then I’ll stay and keep him company,” Gerard said, giving me a meaningful look as he said the last part. I grinned. 

“Okaaaay,” Mikey said, giving us a weird look. I made my face blank and Gee twiddled his fingers in a wave and smirked. Ooh, sassy Gerard. “Well call us if you need anything…” his voice trailed off as the rest of my bandmates grabbed their coats and headed out the door. The second they were gone, I launched myself into Gerard’s arms.

“Gee, baby, I missed you so much,” I whispered, tangling my fingers in his messy black hair.

Gerard stroked my cheek and kissed it. “God, me too, Frankie. I’m sorry things get so crazy, but you know how it is. But I promise I’ll try and make more time for you.” Then he kissed me. 

Gerard fisted his hand in my hair. I gasped as his tongue entered my mouth, gentle at first, then more forceful as he insistently stroked my tongue. I broke away, gasping, and placed wet kisses along Gee’s jaw and neck. He groaned, pressing his hips into mine.

“Fuck, Frank,” he sighed. I grinned, happy I had this effect on him. 

“Mmm,” I replied, laying my head on his chest. His arms encircled around me, gently stroking my back. After a few minutes of just cuddling, he pulled away and kissed my forehead. 

“I love you,” Gerard whispered and my heart fluttered. 

“I love you, too,” I murmured back. 

He smiled at me sweetly and patted my hip until I climbed off him. “Smoke and coffee?” he offered. I nodded eagerly. 

I tapped a cigarette out of my pack and walked over to the window, lighting it up. I inhaled on the cancer stick, letting the smoke fill up my lungs before exhaling. 

“Fuck,” Gerard hissed from behind me. Before I could turn around, he had me pressed up against the window, grinding his erection into me. “Frankie,” he panted out. “You’re so hot. You make smoking look like a fucking art.”

I whimpered, letting my head fall back. He took the opportunity to bite my neck, licking and sucking at the skin there. I knew there’d be a hickey that I would have to cover up later, but I didn’t care. It was so worth it. Finally, Gerard stopped playing vampire on my neck and casually plucked the cigarette I was holding from my two fingers, and popped it in his mouth, grinning devilishly at me. 

“Tease,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

“I’ll devour that fucking tongue, Frank,” he growled, his hazel eyes going black again. I suppressed a shudder walked over to the coffee machine and made us two steaming cups. I walked back over to Gee and swapped the cigarette for coffee. We sipped and smoked and talked. It was nice to just spend time with my boyfriend, talking and laughing.

Soon, our shared cigarette was stubbed out and our cups were empty. I grabbed Gerard’s chin and pulled him to me. We kissed frantically, our hands exploring each other’s bodies. I started for the hem of his black shirt. 

He pulled back. “Let’s go down to the basement,” he said huskily. He looked so beautiful with his hair messed up from my hands and his lips were red and swollen. His face was slightly flushed and his eyes were an opaque black.

I wanted him. I needed him. Now.

I grabbed his hand, practically dragging him downstairs to his basement, reveling in the sound of his eager chuckles.

When we reached the basement, I pushed Gerard on the bed and crawled on top of him. He looked up at me, his eyes lustful and a smirk on his face.

“Nuh-uh, babe, I’m topping tonight,” he said.

“What?” I said. I always topped! I always-

Before I knew it, Gerard had seamlessly flipped us over so that he was leering over me. I was shocked, a little out of breath, but mostly turned on. I could feel the bulge in my pants growing. I desperately lifted up my hips to meet Gerard’s. He looked down at me, grinding his hips into mine as he bit his lip.

“G-Gee?” I stammered. I yanked up his shirt, exposing smooth alabaster skin. I leaned up to nip at the exposed skin. He gasped, throwing his head back. 

“Yeah, Frank?”

“I-I…” I wanted to tell him how good this felt. How much I loved him. But I couldn’t find the words, so I just wordlessly shook my head and ran a hand through my hair.

“I know, Frank. I get it,” he whispered. He pulled off my shirt and then his. Gerard leaned forward, keeping eye contact the whole time, and placed kisses along my chest. I groaned, digging my fingers into his hips.

We were both sweating at this point. The drops of sweat from Gerard’s forehead landed on my chest and I reached up to lick his salty lips. He groaned, capturing my lips in a hot kiss.

Suddenly, Gerard climbed off me for no reason. I whined at the loss of contact. He rolled his hazel eyes at me lightly before kneeling at the end of the bed. Gerard tugged at my jeans. I lifted my hips and he yanked them down along with my boxers.

Gerard wasted no time with grasping my length. I moaned, trying to grind my hips into his hand, but he continued to tease me, stroking my cock slowly, keeping an almost lazy pace, I tried to control my breathing and eventually managed to do so. My eyes were fluttering shut… 

“Hey,” Gee said, flicking the head of my dick. “Stay with me, Frankie.” Then before I could comprehend it, he had swallowed me whole inside his mouth.

“Fuck, Gerard!” I yelled, my eyes flying open and a hand going down to twist its way into his raven-colored locks. The best thing though, was that Gerard maintained eye contact. He even managed to still look smug and arrogant, despite the fact that his mouth was full of my cock.

Arrogant little fucker, I thought amusedly.

Gerard was moaning now, using his tongue to stroke the head and underside of my cock. I was gasping, grabbing at his hair harshly, surely ripping several slightly greasy strands out. I knew he wouldn’t mind though, he loved it rough.

Okay, fine, he deserves to be arrogant. He really is the master cocksucker. 

Gerard slid his mouth down until just the tip was hanging in his mouth. Then he slammed me down to the hilt. I watched him choke slightly, his eyes bugging out.

“Whoa, careful, Gee. You may need that mouth one day,” I panted. He just flapped his hand at me like it didn’t matter. He started to take me in faster, gripping my ass for support. He dug his nails in, letting me know it was okay to fuck him.

Grinning wickedly, I let go, curling my fingers more firmly into Gerard’s hair, and thrust my hips forward, my dick hitting the back of his throat. I grunted, really letting myself fuck his mouth. The rhythm I set was hard, abusing, and demanding. I could hear him gagging more, but I didn’t let up.

I was on the brink of a mind-blowing (pun intended) orgasm. The sound of our grunts, the sweat on our bodies, and the scent of sex and sin were all pushing me to the edge. Then Gerard smacked my ass. And I don’t mean a playful smack like we did on stage. No, he literally brought his hand back, flattened his fucking palm and smacked the shit out of me.

That’s what set me off.

I came hard, spraying the inside of his mouth with come. He swallowed it all and took his mouth off me, after placing a tiny kiss at the now softening head. 

“Ah, shit,” Gerard moaned, rolling his jaw around and swallowing several times, looking a little uncomfortable. I made a faux-sympathetic sound.

“Aww, did Gerard hurt himself giving head?” I tsked. “Well, I did tell you to be careful, didn’t I?” He glared at me, pausing his inane jaw-rubbing.

“Fuck you, Iero,” he laughed, standing up and crawling over me, gripping my chin. He placed several little kisses along my jaw and neck before finally kissing my lips. I kissed back eagerly, feeling myself already growing hard again. He pulled back and used his tongue to trace the tattoos on my neck and chest. I sighed. Then he abruptly pushed away from me and glared down at me. I stared back in confusion.

“Gee, what’s-” I started to ask, but he reached down and lightly smacked my cheek. Not enough to hurt, just enough to shut me up.

“Did I say you could talk?” he growled.

No,” I sighed, dropping my eyes. “Sorry.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Sorry, sir,” I amended. He nodded in approval then gestured for me to get off the bed and onto my knees. Gerard sat down in front of me, looking down with a slight sneer.

“You’ve been a fucking greedy sub tonight, getting all that you want. And I don’t even get a fucking thank you!” As he spoke, he started to undo his pants, letting them fall down and pool around his ankles. I’ll admit to my mouth watering slightly at the sight of his cock trying to bust through his boxers.

Gee was watching me curiously. “See something you like?” I nodded eagerly. “What?”

“Your cock, sir,” I nearly whispered.

“Oh, this?” In a graceful movement, Gerard ditched his boxers and was moving his hand smoothly over his shaft. He moaned a little, collecting pre-come at the tip, then using it to lubricate his dick.

I let out some kind of desperate noise, my mouth diving forward to taste Gerard. However, he held me back by the fringe of my hair.

“I believe we ask first,” he said calmly.

“I… shit, sir, may I please suck your cock?” I asked. His lips twitched into a wicked grin.

“Of course. But… will you do something for me first, Frankie?” he asked sweetly.

“Anything.”

“Dance for me.”

I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion. Dance for him? Gerard was the dancer out of any of us, not me.

“Please, Frankie?” he asked, batting those impossibly long lashes of his. I nodded wordlessly, once again in awe of how beautiful he was. “Go ahead, play the fifth song on the CD. Gee gestured over to the CD player by the far end of the room. I walked over to it, feeling his eyes burn a hole into me the entire time.

When I finally reached the CD player, I had to quirk an eyebrow at the Nine Inch Nails CD. I didn’t know Gerard was into their stuff. Shrugging to myself, I clicked the buttons until the fifth track was playing. Apparently it was called “Closer.” I looked back at Gerard.

He was lying on the bed now, propped up by his elbows, a smirk playing at one side of his mouth. His eyes were pure fire. He was still palming his cock. “Frankie,” Gerard moaned. I gulped and trembled.

Feeling inspired by the show he was giving me and the music playing, I hesitantly started swaying my hips, feeling really awkward. It didn’t matter though if it was impressing Gerard. And by the looks of it, I definitely was. I smiled and let my eyes shut…

Only to have them pop open in shock when I heard the lewd chorus that Trent Reznor was currently crooning. 

“I wanna fuck you like an animal

I wanna feel you from the inside

I wanna fuck you like an animal

My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to God.”

 

I now knew why Gerard had picked that song. Fuck. My eyes shot up to meet Gerard’s hazel orbs. He grinned cheekily, still touching himself. “Yeah, you can see why I like that song,” he said simply. Then his eyes narrowed. “But who told you to stop dancing?”

“Sorry, sir,” I mumbled, slipping back into sub mode.

“Speak up,” he barked.

“Sorry, sir,” I said louder. I went back to dancing.

I’d better be getting fucked hard for this shit, I thought sourly, as I raised my arms above my head, moving as best I could to the sensual beat. Gerard was moaning, so I figured I was doing something right. I hoped. 

“Yeah, Frankie, just like that.” His voice was a bare whisper. “God, you’re so beautiful, so sexy.” I blushed, shaking my head slightly. I didn’t agree with him on that. “Hey,” Gerard said, raising his voice. “Come here.” Biting my lip at the slightly harsh tone, I walked over to him, dropping my head.

Gerard gently kissed my cheek and looked into my eyes. I knew he could see the fear and doubt swimming in them.

“How can you be so doubtful?” he whispered, looking like he was about to cry.

“I’m not beautiful,” I murmured, feeling my eyes water slightly. He gripped my chin.

“You are, Frankie. And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.” I smiled brightly. “Kiss me,” he suddenly demanded, pulling me into a kiss before I could respond.

I think it was then that I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Gerard. Because he not only told me I was beautiful, but he showed me and made me believe it. I could see us getting married and having kids. Continuing the band, but as a married couple. My smile widened against his lips and he pulled away.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“You. Us.” I whispered. He raised an eyebrow.

“Our future. You know, getting married, having kids,” I said without thinking. Then I mentally smacked myself. Gee probably wasn’t even thinking about that.

But Gerard, always able to read me well, cupped my cheek. “I want that too, Frankie. So, so much.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely, baby. I love you. I love you so much.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed his hand and stood him up, then dropped to my knees. I stroked his cock gently, rubbing my thumb over the slit. Then I carefully put the tip in my mouth.

I felt hot all over as he groaned above me. It always surprised me that I could give head, or to use Gerard’s words, “the best fucking head I’ve ever received.” I loved it though. I slid my mouth over his length more, my hands stroking what my mouth couldn’t fit. His moans and sighs were turning me on beyond belief so I grasped my own weeping dick and started jacking off in time with the pace my mouth set.

Gerard started thrusting gently. I wanted him to go faster. I wanted him to use me. I took my hands off him and folded them behind my back. Today would be the day I would take all of him into my mouth. Making sure to breathe through my nose, I carefully took in another couple inches. Huffing in frustration, I decided to just do it the Gerard way (no pun intended), and slammed my mouth down on him all at once.

Blinking through my watering eyes, I looked up at Gerard and saw his mouth was open, his mouth thrown open in ecstasy. I loved this feeling, the feeling that I could give him pleasure. I bobbed my head, encouraging him to move. Exhaling in a hiss, he started thrusting faster, forcing me to hang on for dear life. This feeling though, of my mouth being stretched wide, feeling used and abused, his dick hot and heavy in my mouth, made my toes curl.

“Frank, uh, God. I’m going to come.” I sped up my movements, taking my hand off my dick. Gee was making those porno-worthy sounds. I thought for the millionth time how freaking lucky I was that he wanted me. Finally, Gerard came and I swallowed as best I could, moaning as I did so.

I broke away from his cock, a string of come following me. Gerard leaned down and wiped it off my lip. “Thank you,” he murmured. I smiled.

“I need you,” I whimpered in return. He looked at my face and nodded. Gerard grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the bed. We fell into an embrace, just staring. I was still painfully hard however, and rubbed my along Gee’s. We both groaned at the friction. “Gerard,” I mumbled into his neck. “Please.”

He wrenched away from me and reached up to find the bedside table. He came back with lube and a condom. I grinned in anticipation.

“On your hands and knees,” he commanded. I did as I was told and tried to keep the shivers at bay. He noticed.

“Frank sweetheart, we don’t have to-” he began, but I cut him off.

“No, I want to! That’s why I’m shaking,” I said.

“God, you’re cute.” He giggled. I could hear the bottle of lube being opened. I tensed as a cold finger entered me. “Shh, relax,” he whispered, as he worked his finger into me. Fuck, it had been too long since I had sex; I could feel a slight ache. Ow. I shifted, trying to get comfortable. Gerard noticed and patted my hip with his free hand. Eventually I was able to relax. He then added a second finger and started scissoring. I sighed in pleasure. Suddenly his fingers were gone. Before I could whine at the loss of contact, they were slamming back into me. I cried out as he kept thrusting in and out, purposely missing my prostate each time. I felt like I was going to explode. Suddenly, he twisted his fingers, hitting that spot. I screamed.

“Yes, Gee! Right there!”

“Knew I could find it. Ready, babe?” he asked. I could only nod. 

The tear of the plastic as the condom was ripped open had me flinching slightly. I knew he was putting more lube on his dick and the thought had me practically drooling.

Then I felt two gentle hands at my hips. I could hear a slight inhale from above, before the head of Gerard’s dick was gently pressing into me. I kept up a constant stream of moans and curses as he let himself into me, inch by inch. Finally, he stopped at the hilt and let me adjust. Christ, I felt so full. I loved this. I loved him. I thrust my hips into him, letting him know to continue.

Gerard started thrusting, slow and gentle. I appreciated him going slow, but it wasn’t what I wanted.

“Babe, go faster,” I panted. I felt him still above me, before going slightly faster.

“Frankie, are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I’m fine. Please!” That was all the encouragement he needed, before he was slamming into me. We were going at a breakneck speed, with Gerard hitting my prostate each time with deadly accuracy. I thought it couldn’t get any better until I felt his lips at my neck. Then his teeth. I gasped in pain and pleasure as he bit into my neck. Two fingers swiped at the wet spot before they were being shoved into my mouth.

“Suck,” he commanded, and I did, swirling my tongue around his digits before I realized I was tasting my own blood. Gerard had broken the skin there. I knew I should have felt grossed and creeped out, but all I felt was turned on. I chanced a look back at him.

He looked like a fucking god with his face flushed, and his hair hanging around him in sweaty tangles. Blood- my blood- dripped from his lips and chin. His chest was glittering with sweat. “You look like a porn star,” he ground out.

I bit my lip as his hips rolled impressively. “So do you,” I countered. Then I squeaked as he slapped my ass. “I’m close!”

Gee reached down and grabbed my dick and started jerking me off. “Yes, yes, yes,” I choked.

“Do it, Frank. Come now.”

There was a white flash behind my eyes as I came, screaming Gerard’s name. He came not even a second later, crying out my name. I collapsed, my limbs no longer able to support me. Gee fell on top of me in a tangle of arms and legs. We stayed like that for a while, catching our breath and coming down from our highs.

Gerard climbed off me and laid down next to me. He brushed sweaty hair away from my face and kissed me softly.

“Love you,” he whispered sweetly.

“Love you, too,” I slurred. I was fighting off sleep.

“Sleep, Frankie. I’ll clean this up,” Gerard whispered.

“‘Kay.”

“Shit, I forgot about the rope and the whip…” were the last words I heard before I fell asleep.


	2. Lindsey Ballato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard and Frank meet a certain bassist from MSI... but is she all that she seems?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW. I'M SUCH AN ASSHOLE. I profusely apologize for the lack of updating. I lose confidence in my works easily, so I just sort of gave up on this. BUT I'M BACK. So here's the next chapter!
> 
> Oh yeah, one more thing: the venue MCR is at has been changed to Projekt Revolution. So think the Frerard fight... and you all know what I'm talking about.

_ *Five Years Later* _

“Whoo! We’re here!” Cortez yelled as he looked out the window of our tour bus.

I grinned excitedly and reached for Gerard’s hand and squeezed. He squeezed back. The bus rolled to a stop and we all jumped out, eager to stretch our legs. I made a beeline for the smokers’ area and stuck a Marlboro in my mouth. I lit up and gratefully expelled the smoke from my body.

“Let’s go, Projekt Rev.!” Gerard said, coming up from behind me. He bummed a cigarette off me and paused to kiss me. All around us, busses were stopping and band members were sprawling out, chatting amongst themselves.

“Hey!” Gee and I looked up to see the guys from Linkin Park waving at us. We would be opening for them tonight.

“Hey!” we said back. We made casual small talk about our music and theirs. The lead singer, Chester Bennington, looked at Gerard and I curiously, most likely noting our closeness. Gerard casually shifted away from me.

“So, are you guys, like, a thing?” Chester asked cautiously.

“Ummm…” we both said. We still hadn’t gone public with our relationship. We didn’t want the media to bombard us even more.

Suddenly, a girl, a  very  pretty girl walked up to us. She had black hair that passed her shoulders and brown eyes. Her red lipsticked lips curled into a grin as she looked at Gerard.

“Um, hey,” the girl said, then giggled nervously. She looked really familiar. Who was she? “I’m Lindsey. Lindsey Ballato. Um, I’m the bassist from Mindless Self Indulgence?” she said it like a question. Gerard’s face lit up in recognition.

“Oh yeah! I’ve listened to your stuff. I like it!” He grinned at her. “I’m Gerard Way, lead singer from My Chemical Romance. This is my- this is Frank Iero. He plays rhythm guitar.” I nodded and smiled shyly at Lindsey. She nodded back, giving me a quick glance before refocusing her attention back on Gerard.

“My Chemical Romance?! I  love your music! You have such an amazing voice!” Lindsey exclaimed. 

“Thank you so much. We worked hard,” Gerard said. He looked so proud that I couldn’t help but smile. Then I heard Ray’s voice from a distance, calling Gerard. 

“Shit, I better go see what Ray needs. I’ll be right back, Frankie. Lindsey,” he nodded at her and gave her a smile before jogging off, leaving me alone with Lindsey. I sort of wished he had taken me with him. There was something about Lindsey that just threw me off.

I shook my head at myself. I was making presumptive accusations about someone I didn’t even  know . Jeez, Frank. I turned back to Lindsey, a warm smile on my face. 

Lindsey, however, was not smiling. She had a slight sneer playing on her face, and her brown eyes had gone flat, somehow, more cold. I felt the smile drop from my face. 

“So,  Frankie ,” she said mockingly. “How long have you and Gerard been together?”

My mouth dropped open. I frantically looked around for the guys from Linkin Park, but they had vanished.  Lucky, I thought sourly. Lindsey was still looking at me and I turned back to her reluctantly. 

“Gee and I aren’t-” I started feebly, but she cut me off.

“Oh, please. I could tell you guys were together as soon as you got off the bus. So how long have you been together?”

“Five years,” I whispered. She looked surprised.

“Huh. Long time,” she muttered. “Well, good luck, I guess.”

“Good luck?”

“Oh, Frankie.” Lindsey sighed at me like I was truly hopeless. “This is a  tour . Hook-ups are notorious on tours. And well, Gerard is fucking gorgeous,” she said bluntly. “And you know what they say about wandering eyes…”

I glared at her. “Gerard wouldn’t cheat on me,” I spat. 

“Oh, no, not out of menace or anything. But Gerard just seems sort of… curious and kind of vulnerable about everything, you know?”

“No, I don’t know what you mean,” I snarled at her. 

“Well, think about it. Gerard’s only been with you, and maybe a girl from high school or college or whatever. So maybe he wants to know what tits feel like. Test out a different watering hole, no pun intended.” She winked at me and I blushed.

“And what? That’s  your job?” I asked.

“No, of course not! I would never want to break you two up; you’re so adorable,” Lindsey said, but her eyes told me otherwise. “All I’m saying is, be careful. There’ll be a lot of eager people lining up for Gerard Way if you let him out of your sight.”

I was about to respond, but Gerard came running back, his black hair flopping into his eyes. My heart started beating faster. He  was  fucking gorgeous.

“Hey! Sorry about that. Frankie, Ray wants to go over the chords for ‘Mama’ again with Cortez,” he told me. I nodded numbly and walked away from Lindsey, without saying a word. Gerard followed me.

“Hey, are you okay? You seem upset,” Gerard noted. I stopped at the bus and looked at him. I wanted to tell him what had happened, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I just wanted to  forget .

Instead of responding, I slammed Gerard up against the tour bus and smashed my lips to his. He grunted a little, but his hands found purchase on my waist. I ran my tongue against his lips,  demanding  entrance. He relented easily and our tongues fought for dominance. I eventually won out though.

“Mm, Frank,” he gasped as he pulled away. “What’s-” Gerard let out a low moan and keened when I bit into his neck, sucking at the skin there. I suddenly felt pissed off that he would have to cover it up with makeup later. I didn’t  want him to. He’s  mine and everyone would fucking know it.

“Don’t cover it up. Now with makeup,” I murmured into his skin. Gerard nodded. I slid my thigh in between his legs and smiled when I felt how hard he was. For  me.

“Jesus Christ, Frank,” Gerard panted. “What’s up? Are you okay?”

“You’re  mine ,” I replied. “Say it.”

“Fuck, you know I’m yours,” he growled. I shook my head. It wasn’t good enough.

“Say it, Gerard. Say it!” I applied more pressure with my leg.

“Fuck, Frankie, I’m yours! I’m fucking yours!”  Gerard screamed. I grinned.

“Good boy,” I said, pulling him back into another kiss as he grinded up against me. I felt him come moments later, sighing gently into my hair.

I pulled away from him and looked around the parking lot. Everyone seemed to have cleared out, except for a few stragglers that hadn’t paid us any attention.

“What was that about?” Gerard asked me. 

“I just needed you,” I said sheepishly. He nodded in understanding.

“Well, I’ll be happy to take you tonight. Over and over. I’ll send the guys to another bus. Okay?” I nodded happily and snuggled into him.

“What the hell?” Ray said as his curly head popped out from the bus door. “Guys, let’s  go . What are you doing?”

I just shook my head as I followed Gerard into the bus. However, two familiar faces made me pause. 

The first was Chester Bennington, and he was absolutely grinning as he gave me a covert thumbs-up. I blushed as I realized he had seen and heard everything. 

The second person, was Lindsey Ballato. She had a fierce glare on her face as she looked at me, and I could feel her eyes burning holes into my back even as I turned away from her. 

****  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad writing about Lyn-Z like this on her birthday. But again, this is my interpretation of her for this story specifically. That being said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the beautiful, talented Lyn-Z Way!


	3. The Sharpest Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up on the Projekt Revolution tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you! Enjoy!

“What the  hell  was that?!” I snarled, jabbing a finger into Gerard’s chest. His eyes were dark as they glowered back at me.

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Frank,” he snapped. 

My mouth dropped open in disbelief. If  anyone was the fucking drama queen in this relationship, it was definitely Gerard. Still, I couldn’t understand what had went wrong.

“What did I do?” I whispered.

“God, Frank, you don’t have to fucking attack me every single time we’re on stage!” he yelled.

“ What are you talking about?” I asked, genuinely confused. 

“You jumped me!” 

“I was going in for a hug! You pushed me!” I shut my eyes, not wanting to remember the awful moment where I went to hug Gerard during our set, and he had angrily wrestled me to the ground instead. After he had gotten up, he had angrily kicked over our mic stands before addressing the crowd. I laid on the cold stage for a moment, before getting up, and taking a second to clear my head. Then I had grabbed Pansy and my stand and launched into the next song. My playing was subdued and off and Ray glared at me from across the stage as if to say, “Pull it together, Iero!” After that, I improved my playing.

But I couldn’t shut my brain off. I kept seeing Gerard’s annoyed expression, the angry twist of his mouth as he forcefully pushed me to the ground. I tipped my head back so I wouldn’t cry. 

Gerard saw my expression and the angry look faded from his eyes. “Frank, baby-” he started.

“Forget it,” I mumbled. I pushed away from him and grabbed Pansy, heading back towards the tour bus. 

“Hey, Frankie!” A dark haired girl said as she quickly walked past me.

“Hey,” I mumbled back. 

“Oh, hey, Lindsey!” Gerard called from behind me, his voice laced with nerves and surprise. My head snapped up and I whirled around to see Gerard embrace Lindsey and kiss her cheek.

My blood boiled and betrayal shot deep through my veins. They looked pretty damn cozy for people who had just met a few days ago. Then I remembered all the times that she had came on our bus, just to talk to Gerard about music and art. She made polite conversation with Ray, Bob, and Cortez, and had steadily ignored me. I tried not to let it irk me too much that they had a lot in common.  Gerard is with me, I tried to remind myself.  Gerard is mine. He told me himself.

I knew Gerard wouldn’t leave me. He may have called himself bisexual, but I knew he liked guys way more, and I  definitely knew he loved me.

Right?

I strutted over to Gerard and Lindsey, dropped my guitar case, and grabbed him in for a kiss. He wrenched away from me, a pissed off look on his face. I smirked, trying to look unaffected. 

“Hurry back to the bus, Gee. I need you,” I breathed. I ran a hand through his hair, tousling it a little.

Gerard giggled. “Frankie, you’re still drunk,” he said in a patronizing tone. “Go and sleep on the bus.” He shot Lindsey an apologetic smile. 

My face flamed. “I’m  not drunk.”

“Well, you’re taking something.” He turned to Lindsey. “Frankie and I do these kind of publicity stunts on stage. You know, groping, making out. But it’s just to piss of the homophobes. I guess Frankie still thinks we’re on stage.” He chuckled. Lindsey laughed and nodded. 

“I get that. I crowd surf, like, constantly. And I also do these backbends. Wanna see?” Before Gee could respond, Lindsey already had moved her body easily into a backbend.

What. The. Fuck?

“Cool,” he said, grinning. I barely held in my noise of disgust. I could tell Gerard was impressed. I wanted to punch him in the face then do a freaking backbend myself just to impress him. It sucked. 

“Gerard,” I said, whining like a five year old and tugging on the sleeve of his Black Parade jacket. “Let’s go.”

“In a second, Frank.” He wouldn’t even look at me. 

“Hey, you guys going to the after-party tonight?” Lindsey interjected. With all the excitement, I had nearly forgotten that tonight was a hotel night, and Linkin Park would be throwing a party in their hotel suite. 

“Huh, I’m not sure, Lindsey,” I said forcefully before Gerard could even open his mouth. “I think Gerard and I were just gonna hang out in our room tonight.” I purposely ignored Gerard’s exasperated stare. 

“We  might stop by, though,” he said. “But we’re pretty beat right now. But, um, I’ll text you?”

“Sure,” Lindsey replied. “And great show, Gerard. you have a great stage presence. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” She winked and I scoffed loudly and rolled my eyes.

Then I realized something. Gerard had pushed me today because he knew Lindsey was in the audience. He still hadn’t told her that we were together and Lindsey certainly wasn’t going to enlighten him that she already knew. Gerard didn’t want Lindsey to get the wrong idea…

“Cool! Bye!” Gerard was saying as I worked everything out in my head. And with that, he was dragging me towards the tour bus. I was nearly tripping over my feet from his force, and just managed to grab Pansy’s case in time. 

“Well, fuck, do you like her?” he spat when we got on the bus.

“Not when she hits on my boyfriend!” I snapped.  Gerard’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Don’t be stupid, she was two seconds away from blowing you right in front of me!” At this point, Ray, Cortez, and Bob had poked their heads out of their bunks and were watching us with interest. 

“No she wasn’t!”

“Yes she was!”

“Whoa, guys, can it,” Ray said, going to stand in between us. “What’s going on?”

“Lindsey fucking Ballato keeps hitting on Gerard,” I said angrily.

“Wait, the Lindsey from Mindless Self Indulgence? Dude, she’s fucking hot!” Bob said. I glared at him.

“Not helping, Bryar,” I said from in between clenched teeth.

“She wasn’t hitting on me! We were just having a nice conversation, and Frank just barged in like a jealous asshole!” Gerard hissed.

It felt like he had slapped me. All I could do was stare at him.

Was I overreacting? 

Was I just jealous?

Fuck, I was an awful person.

No. I shook my head. Gerard was wrong this time. He hadn’t even-

“Gerard, why didn’t you tell Lindsey that we’re together? She wouldn’t go to the media.”

“I-” Gerard frowned. “Frank, it didn’t even come up, and I didn’t think to mention it.”

I fought back a scream of frustration. “And that didn’t tell you anything? The fact that she was too fucking busy stroking your gigantic ego that you failed to mention that you’re gay and in a  very  committed relationship?”

“Okay, even if Lindsey did like me, it. Does. Not. Matter.” His hazel eyes pleaded with me to understand. I looked away. “I love  you, Frank.”

It was silent for several, tense seconds. 

At last I cleared my throat. “I, ah… I’m gonna step out,” I said, blushing. 

I pushed past my band mates and headed outside into the humid air. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I reached for my pack of cigarettes. I stuck one in my mouth and was fumbling with my lighter when a hand with long fingers reached out and lit my cigarette. Gerard was standing there with an anguished expression, holding his lighter out like some sort of peace offering. 

“I’m an asshole,” he muttered.

“Yeah, you are,” I replied coldly. There was an awkward silence as I smoked. Finally, he sighed and put his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. 

“I’m so sorry, Frankie. I totally disregarded your feelings back there with Lindsey. She’s nice and I felt the need to impress her somehow. I know that doesn’t make sense,” he said mournfully.

I stared at him. “No, I get it.” Gerard didn’t have many friends when he was growing up, so when he got them, he did everything to keep them.

Even if that meant stretching himself.

Even if that meant being a jerk. 

Even if that meant fighting with his boyfriend. 

But still.  I raised an eyebrow at him. He put his hands up. 

“I know, I know. That’s no fucking excuse. Because she’s not important.  You are the most important thing to me.” 

I smiled. “I love you, Gerard. And I’m sorry too. I trust you. I really do.”

He kissed my neck. “I love you, too. And I forgive you.” His kisses suddenly turned more longer, hotter, more erotic. I let out a harsh breath. My forgotten cigarette dropped out of my mouth. Gerard giggled and stomped on it. “Mmm, I want you,” he mumbled in between kisses. 

“Later babe.” I laughed, and tried to detach myself from him. 

“No.” Gerard shoved me up against the side of the bus and laid open-mouth kisses on my neck. I was moaning like crazy, not aware that we were probably giving all of the other bands a show. “Frank, I need you,” he groaned, kicking my legs apart with his foot and sliding his thigh in between my open legs. I could feel how hard he was against my hip. I started grinding against his leg and he let his head fall back, ecstasy all over his face. 

“Get some!”

I jumped and opened my eyes. Standing about ten feet away were the guys from Linkin Park. Gerard, ever calm under pressure, smirked suggestively and grabbed my hand.

“God, I am going to need years of therapy from you two,” Ray groaned. I hadn’t even realized the guys were standing next to Linkin Park, varying expressions of disgust and amusement on their faces. And in the distance, I could see the members from Mindless Self Indulgence staring. Christ, was there  anyone who wasn’t looking?

I turned about ten different shades of red. Gee shifted slightly, a sign that he was getting nervous, stepped away from me, and bowed graciously.

“Okay, show’s over people. Back to your buses. That’s right, run along now.” He waved his hands in a “go away” gesture. 

“Aww, but things were just getting interesting,” said Chester. Gerard smirked and winked at him.

“Ugh, do you guys have to do that while I’m around? You’re lucky that Mikey’s not here,” Ray whined.

“Good thing Mikey’s not here, then,” Gerard quipped back good-naturedly as we all boarded the bus again, but not before I looked back at the spot where Mindless Self Indulgence once stood. Everyone else was gone except for Lindsey of course, who still stood in her spot, arms crossed tightly across her chest, and her lips pursed. She met my gaze, her face twisted into a nasty sneer. I shrank back for a second, before firing her a look of my own. The stare-off seemed to last forever, though I knew it was only seconds. At last, Lindsey flipped her dark hair before climbing the steps of her tour bus. I shook my head and turned around, biting my lip. 

****  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! If any of you care enough, you can follow me on Twitter (@smyleygrl) where I'll start posting updates about this fic and any others! Also, cause you're all fucking awesome, there'll be some smut in the next chapter so be prepared for that. ;) Comments and kudos mean everything! Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BANDIT LEE WAY!!!


	4. Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank establishes one and for all who's in charge of his Kitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, chapter 4! I apologize for the slowness of this fic, but there's only certain times that I can write. With the end of school coming, and starting a new job, it's been hectic. But, here we are! Enjoy!

“Showers,” Ray practically moaned as we burst through the doors of the hotel lobby. We all nodded in agreement as Brian checked us in. 

“Alright,” Brian said, walking back over to us. “There’s two connecting rooms with two queen size beds, but they’re sending a cot up for whoever else needs it,” he explained as he handed Ray and Gerard a room key. “Also, as you may already know, Linkin Park is throwing a party in their suite on the fourth floor in room 425, right now, so head up if you want, okay?” We all nodded.

“Cool. I’m gonna be in room 427.” Brian grimaced a little, most likely disgruntled with the fact that he would be only a couple rooms down from a loud party. “I need everyone to be up and ready to check-out by ten so we can get going. But have a good night!” With that, he flashed us all a smile and headed towards the elevator. 

We all traded grins as Cortez blurted, “Race you!” Ray, Bob, and Cortez all ran towards the elevators. Gee and I held back, holding hands and swinging our arms. Gerard chuckled. 

“Idiots,” he said fondly. 

“Ah, yes, but they’re our idiots,” I said, grinning. He giggled. I smirked when an empty elevator came down. Exactly what I wanted.  When we got in, I had Gerard pinned up against the wall. I reached up to the trace the shell of his ear with my tongue, while I grabbed his crotch, rubbing lightly. 

“Frankie,” he sighed. I shushed.

“When we get to our room,” I growled. “I want you to take all your fucking clothes off and lay on the bed. And wait for me, damn it,” I shoved away from him when the elevator door opened. I swiped the room key from him and strutted down the hallway, swaying my hips because I knew he was watching me, breathing out a quiet laugh when I heard him stumble and swear.

However, my happy mood faded when I saw who we would be rooming with across the hall from. 

“Frank!” Lindsey shrieked. She had a fake smile on her face and her eyes were seething. I faked a smile back at her and went to unlock the door. Thankfully, Gerard walked right past her, barely mumbling a “Hi.”

“Hey, wait,” Lindsey called. I took my hand off the door handle and sighed quietly.

“Yeah?” I said, not even bothering to hide my annoyance.

“You guys going up to the party?” she asked. 

“Nah,” Gerard answered. “We’re staying in.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and I snuggled into his side.

Her sharp eyes moved over us suspiciously. She smiled when she looked down and I saw why. 

Gerard’s boner was easy to see tighter-than-all black skinny jeans. I knew she could see practically every inch of his cock. I frowned, moving in front of Gerard so he was out of her view.

Lindsey pouted. “Too bad.”

“Yeah,” I said, my tone bored. “Sucks. Well, night.”

“Night…” I heard faintly as I slammed the door behind us. He turned around to kiss me but I pushed him on the bed. 

“Did you not fucking hear me in the elevator?” I asked, glaring at him. “Strip, then lay on the bed.”

He nodded then pulled off his shirt. He made quick work of his pants until he was naked. As per Gerard fashion, he had skipped the boxers. I could see his dick straining to be free. Holding my gaze, Gerard slowly slid down his boxers, inch by inch. His erection sprung free and I fought the urge to drop to my knees right then and there.

Finally, he was naked. I nodded, trying to act cool. “Wait for me,” I commanded. “I’m gonna take a shower.” I grinned as his mouth dropped open. “Go on, lay down. And Gee, don’t touch yourself or move. Believe me, I’ll know.”

I hummed to myself as as I stripped and turned the shower on. I left the bathroom door cracked open and stepped under the warm spray.

It felt so fucking good. I hadn’t showered since yesterday since the showers on tour were shit. Ah, nothing beat this feeling of finally being clean. The steady rush of water beat relentlessly on my sore muscles, releasing the tension and working out all the post-show aches.

The water started to turn cold so I got out of the shower and dried off. I didn’t bother with clothes because… yeah.

I walked out of the bathroom, and was pleased to see that Gerard hadn’t moved an inch. I took a moment to admire him.

He was panting harshly, his chest heaving. A fine layer of sweat covered him. His hands were twisted in the bedsheets. And Jesus Christ, his  cock . It was red and swollen and perfect-looking. He looked at me. “Frankie.”

“That’s Mr. Iero to you, cockslut,” I spat.

“S-sorry, Mr. Iero.”

“Better.” I smiled. “Now where’s the black bag?”

“Closet.”

I walked over to the closet and retrieved a black duffle bag. Shuffling through it, I dug through the seemingly endless supply of dildos, vibrators, whips, riding crops, blindfolds, etc. I swear, Gee and I were better stocked than any sex shop. I grabbed some rope, a blindfold, Gerard’s collar, and a whip. I walked back to him and set everything down out of his sight, and grabbed the blindfold.

Tying the blindfold around his pretty eyes, I whispered, “Your safeword is ‘Bookworm.’” I reached for the rope and tied his wrists to the bed post. I linked the collar around his neck and stepped back to admire my work.

“Fuck, Kitten, you look gorgeous.” Kitten was the name I used for him whenever I was dominating. It was engraved on his collar. “Spread those legs, Kitten, and keep ‘em spread.” He did as he was told. 

I ran my hands over his chest, his nipples. Gerard arched into me and I pushed him back down. I kept running my hands down his body lightly, barely using any pressure. He was moaning, and I wanted to tell him to stop, but I was enjoying it too much. Reaching for the whip, I let it trail down his chest before striking at his stomach.

“Ah!” Gerard cried out.

“Shut up,” I snapped. “Don’t make me get the ball gag.”

He was silent after that, biting his lip as I whipped his stomach and thighs. I purposefully ignored his leaking dick.

“Mr. Iero?”

“What?”

“C-can you touch me?”

“Fucking needy little slut,” I snarled. “ No , I will not touch you.” Gerard made a desperate noise in the back of his throat, his wrists twisting against the rope, trying to break free. “Stop, Kitten,” I ordered and he did.

Within seconds, I had him flipped over and was whipping his back, his ass, the back of his legs. He was screaming into the pillow and I wondered if I was hurting him, but then I heard his muffled “More, please,” and kept going. I’ll admit to grinning widely when I heard his screams of pain and pleasure. Red marks were marring his skin and I moaned at the sight.

Finally, I stopped. I didn’t want him to bleed. I gently turned him over, him wincing slightly when his marks met the bed. I grabbed the lube and coated two fingers with it. Sucking in a deep breath, I gently pressed one finger inside my hole. I gasped as sparks of pain and pleasure shot up and down my spine. Gingerly moving the finger in and out of me, I gasped out Gerard’s name. He groaned in response and I didn’t have the heart to tell him to be quiet again.

I moaned when I slipped in another finger and started scissoring myself. I desperately searched for my prostate, my fingers bumping against each other as they searched for that sweet spot. I finally found it, my fingers brushing against it casually and I flinched. 

Going to straddle Gerard, I whispered, “Ready, Kitten?” He nodded eagerly. I grasped Gerard’s length and gave him two quick strokes before sinking down on him completely.

We both groaned at the amazing sensation. “Fuck,” I muttered, closing my eyes. Without waiting for me to adjust, I started thrusting down on him, keeping a steady rhythm. Gerard’s hips rose to meet mine. 

The room was filled with moans, and the sound of skin slapping on skin. I started jerking off, moving faster and faster. 

I was bouncing wildly on his cock. God, I felt so  full . I wouldn't ever get tired of this feeling. At last, I couldn’t take it anymore. I ripped off Gerard’s blindfold off. His hazel eyes bore so intensely into mine. I actually kind of lost focus for a second until Gee gasped, “Fuck. Me.”

So I did. I fucked him into the mattress. I fucked him until he was screaming my name, and I was positive he forgot all about Lindsey. She could flirt with him all she wanted, but she would  never get to see Gerard like this: naked, flushed, panting. Needy and begging. Screaming like a cockwhore. 

“Come for me, slut,” I gasped. Gerard threw his head back and let out this inhuman scream. I smirked at the thought of Lindsey hearing us. I came not even a second later, squirting come all over his face and chest. We laid there, gasping, trying to catch our breath and calm our heartbeats.

I climbed off Gerard and untied him. Then I went to the black duffel bag and grabbed some Aloe Vera Healing Cream. Reaching for Gerard’s wrists, I rubbed some of the cream on them while massaging them. He sighed. I smiled. I proceeded to rub the cream over the angry red marks on his skin. Then I kissed his forehead and smiled at him. He grinned back. 

“How about a bath?” I asked gently. Gerard’s face lit up and he nodded.

I went to the bathroom and filled the tub with water and soap. I called Gerard in and he came, with come still all over his face, I realized. Reaching up to wipe it off, he just laughed and batted my hands away and whispered, “I like it on my face.” He stepped into the tub and moaned.

Suddenly, I had an idea. I went out of the bathroom and picked up the hotel phone and called the front desk.

“Hi,” I said lowly. “This is Frank Iero in room 272? I was wondering if someone could send up a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries?”

“Absolutely, sir. Would you also like a bottle of champagne?” the woman asked.

“No,” I replied. “No, just the strawberries. Thank you.” And I hung up.

“Frankie,” Gerard called. “Where’d you go?”

“One second!” I called. I yanked on a pair of boxers and an old Misfits shirt and jogged back to the bathroom.

“Why are you dressed?” he asked, frowning.

“Shut up and soak,” I said, smiling. He reached up to stroke my cheek with a soapy finger.

“You’re so amazing,” Gerard whispered. I leaned in and kissed him softly. I sat on the edge of the tub and ran my fingers through his soft hair.

This is what I loved about us. How we could be fucking through the mattress one second, then be so tender in the next.

There was a knock at the door. Gerard frowned. “Who is that?”

“No idea,” I said, hiding my grin. I grabbed one of the huge, white, fluffy bathrobes and opened the door. 

Lindsey fucking Ballato was standing there, a hand on her hip and her eyes full of jealousy. I barely covered my groan. 

“I heard you,” she said accusingly.

“Yeah that was kind of the point,” I wanted to say. Instead I shrugged and said “Sorry.”

“No big. Gee makes gorgeous sounds but I know you already knew that, right?” She mocked. 

“Yeah.” I nodded in agreement. “But, you also have to remember who’s getting him to make those sounds. Me. And trust me, having his dick fill you as he makes those sounds is fucking amazing. But only I would know that.” I shrugged again and smirked. “Oh, and also, it’s  Gerard . Gee is my nickname for him. Secondly, did you need something, or…?”

“Nope!” Lindsey croaked, but she still managed a weak grin. “Just wanted to let you know that.”

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks,” I deadpanned. Fuck, she was really getting on my nerves. 

“Baby, who is it?” Gerard called from the bathroom.

“Just me, Gee- Gerard,” Lindsey amended when I shot her a sharp glance.

“Oh.” There was a long pause. “...Why?”

“She heard us fucking,” I said plainly. There was a snort then a cough.

“Uh… um. Okay. Oops, I guess.” I snickered to myself. “Well, um, come back, Frankie. Lindsey, we’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” Gerard said to her.

Linsey’s face flushed. I smiled as I tipped the waiter who had also appeared at the door with our bowl of strawberries. He disappeared as well as Lindsey, who had muttered an annoyed “Fine.”

I couldn’t help but giggle as I slammed the door and went back to Gerard. I hid the strawberries behind my back and told him to close his eyes and open his mouth.

Gerard scrunched his nose and chuckled but did what I asked. I fed him a strawberry and his eyes opened in shock as he bit into the ripe, sweet fruit and moaned.

“Shit,” he said. “Strawberries!” He chewed and smiled. Score. “They’re fresh too.” I took a bite and nodded in agreement.

“You got these for me?” Gerard asked. I nodded shyly. “That’s so romantic, Frankie. Thank you so much. Now I gotta do something romantic for you.” 

I shook my head. “You give me so much by just being with me. I’m forever grateful for that, Gee.”

He cupped my face. “How could anyone  not want to be with you? You are my life. You’re so  full of life.” I kissed him. Our tongues danced around. 

“Mmm, I love you.”

“I love you too. Round two?” he asked, grinning.

“Strawberries first. I need my nourishment!” I defended. He gasped.

“Yeah, yeah,” he fake-grumbled. 

The rest of our night was spent eating, watching horror movies, and enjoying each other’s bodies. I couldn’t have asked for a better night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to follow me on Twitter (@smyleygrl)! I post updates about the fic, and I'd love to talk to any of you! I don't bite! ;)


	5. Pansy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out the true reason why Frank broke Pansy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter! This one is pretty short, pretty much because shit's going down in the next chapter and I needed a filler. I was about to go from one drama filled chapter to the next, but I'm not that much of a bitch ;) much. This chapter is dedicated to my internet love, the amazing @gerard.ways.crotch on Instagram! Go follow her, she's a sweetheart, and she keeps me going. Love ya, girlie!
> 
> P.S. I know Frank broke Pansy onstage but I needed it (her?) to believe alive for this chapter. It's a metaphor, if you wanna get deep about it. You'll see.

Two Years Later

    The time in between tours was one that I greatly looked forward to. It meant more uninterrupted time with Gerard.

We were sitting in his basement at his parent’s house in Jersey. Gerard was sketching and I was moving my fingers mindlessly over Pansy’s frets. I sighed as I started playing Honey absentmindedly. I hummed along quietly to the tune.

At last, Gerard sighed and rested his chin on my shoulder. “What’s up?” he asked quietly.

“Hm, not much,” I murmured back. “You?”

“I’m thinking of our next album.” I perked up at the mention of that.

“More costumes?” I teased.

Gerard laughed. “Shut up. And yes there are, in fact.” I smiled.

“As long as they’re not the BP jackets. God, those were hot.” I shuddered just thinking about it.

“Well, it’s about to get hotter, babe. I’m thinking our next music video should be in a desert.”

“What?” I said. I turned around so I was facing Gerard fully. He had one of those manic little smiles on his face, the ones he wore when he was thinking creatively. Or dubiously. With Gerard, those lines blurred.

“I want you to totally throw the other things that we’ve done in the past, Frankie,” he told me.

“Why?”

“This next album- totally new concept. New music, new sounds, new costumes. No more revenge. No more death. It’s time to fucking party.” And with that, Gee thrust his open sketchbook at me. I looked down at the drawing.

It was a sketch of man, who I believe was supposed to be of Gerard, wearing the most random, colorful outfit I had ever seen. The first thing I noticed was the scarlet red, shoulder length hair.

“Holy shit, Gee,” I gasped. “You’re not gonna fucking dye your hair that color, right?” I looked at his bright yellow blond hair and arched an eyebrow.

“What? It needs a change. And you’ll have to fucking kill me before I dye my hair some boring color. I don’t do boring, Frank.”

“Believe me, I fucking know,” I grumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I too much for you? Can you not handle me?” he snapped. I just stared at me.

"What the hell? No, you’re not too much for me!” I protested. Gerard didn’t look convinced.

“Well you don’t like my ideas,” he said, sounding a lot like a whiny 5 year old.

“I didn’t say-”

“Lindsey would like it,” he said suddenly.

My heart stopped. I knew Gerard and Lindsey still talked; there was nothing I could do about that. But to have him throw it in my face like that… to have him imply that she cared for him more than I did…

“How dare you? Seriously, how fucking dare you?! Lindsey Ballato has nothing to do with this a, and b, she would tell you anything you want to hear, because because she. Likes. You. Why can’t you get that?!”

I turned away from Gerard, and stood up, forgetting that Pansy was on my lap. The guitar clattered to the floor, most likely breaking the strings. I wanted to smack Gerard in the head with it.

“Why don’t you just break up with me and be with Lindsey, Gerard? I know that’s what you want!” I yelled.

 “Fuck you, you know that’s not true!” Gerard snapped. 

 “It is and we both know it. Go ahead, call her. Don’t let me stop you.” And with one last sad look at him over my shoulder, I dragged Pansy up the stairs by the strap and out the front door. 

 I glared at my red Converse as I stepped outside into the cold Jersey air. My breathing was hard and I could feel tears start to form in my eyes. I roughly knuckled them away and sniffed. I wonder why Gerard hadn’t raced after me.

He’s calling Lindsey. He’s really fucking doing it. 

 I started to get pissed. Why the fuck was Gerard doing this to me? The bastard.

 I looked down at Pansy. The strings were all fucked up and there were scratches from when I dragged it up the stairs and onto the rough concrete. I began to see why I named it Pansy. It was weak. Just like Gerard. Just like me.

With an angry snarl, I grabbed the neck and raised it above my head. I swallowed and took a deep breath before bringing it down and smashing it onto the hard pavement. It felt good. It felt so fucking good. So I did it again. And again.

 I knew how it must have looked. Here I was in the fucking thirty degree weather, wearing a T-shirt and jeans, smashing my guitar like some asshole rockstar, on the lawn in front of the Way’s house. God it must have been a sight.

 Finally I was done. There was nothing left but splintered wood. I smiled grimly.

 “Frank?” I turned around and saw Mikey. “What’re you doing?”

“Um… expelling a demon?” I said, sort of sheepishly. 

“Why? You loved that guitar!” I just shrugged. Mikey sighed and went back inside, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

 “Why did you do that?” This time, the voice that spoke was Gerard.

“This guitar was us,” I explained slowly. “It was beautiful, strong, could go through hell and back… and it had great sound.” I smiled without humor. “But good things don’t last, I guess. Pansy wasn’t meant to last, and neither were we, I guess.” I sniffled suddenly and turned away from Gerard.

 I felt strong arms lock around my waist, a pair of lips ghosting at my cheek. “Frank,” he breathed. “I’m not breaking up with you." 

“Wait what?”

“I love you, Frank. I love you so much it hurts. I can’t let you go.”

 “But- Lindsey-” I protested. 

“Fuck her. She doesn’t matter. She never will.”

  I mulled it over in my head. Maybe Lindsey was this tiny little thing that I was making into a big issue. She didn’t matter, really. I hadn’t even seen her since Projekt Revolution. She was only a problem because I kept making her one.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Gerard.”

 “No. I’m sorry. I know how much you dislike her. I won’t mention her again, I promise.” I smiled and turned around so I could kiss him.

“Okay. And Gee? I really liked that idea. Go for it.” Gerard grinned and cupped my cheek, his eyes sparkling.

“Yay,” he said, still smiling. Then he frowned and looked at the mess that used to be Pansy.

“I’ll miss her.” He sighed. ****“Me too. But it had to be done.” Gerard nodded in agreement. “Guess I’ll need a new guitar…”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the next chapter! And if you're interested, I'll be posting a super dark one-shot fic... sometime this month, haha. I'm not sure when, but it's in the works!


	6. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of an era.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize profusely for the lack of updating. This chapter was beta'd by my lovely wife and beta, S (@gerard.ways.crotch on Instagram). I love you, S! :)
> 
> P.S. I also apologize for this chapter- there's a lot of feels.

*Four Years Later*

March 22, 2013

We changed a lot throughout the years. We’ve been to hell and back. We’ve learned, grown, and experienced. Our tale was similar to a coming-of-age story. We were boys (who were mostly not sober) when we started My Chemical Romance. Now we were men.

Every time I looked back on it, I can never pinpoint the exact time when touring became less fun.

I had no longer felt the same giddy rush of adrenaline as I had previously. I felt numb, mostly emotionless. I could easily feel the same vibe from Gerard, Ray, and Mikey. Gerard mostly.

Don’t get me wrong. He still put every bit of his soul into every single performance he gave. I was still in awe of him on stage until the very last note rang out. I just knew Gerard, though. I knew when he was happy. And this wasn’t it.

Gerard had started drinking again. There was no stopping him this time. He kicked and screamed when we tried to intervene. It’s like he wanted to stay in this self-destructive behavior. He shut everyone out. He was losing weight; wherever he was in this swirling black abyss of alcohol and depression, I couldn’t reach him this time, There was no intervention.

We were currently staying at a hotel in California. I knew Gee really liked it here; he made references to eventually moving here. However, we were all still Jersey-bound.

Gerard and I entered Mikey and Ray’s room. I smiled carefully at them. I received thin, barely there smiles in response.

“We all need to talk,” Gerard said quietly.

“Sure,” I replied. “Wanna wait for Pedicone, or…?” Michael Pedicone was our replacement drummer after Bob left the band.

“No, this just concerns us. We can catch him up later.” He ran his hands through his long, straggly fire-truck red hair. He had gone through with the dye job. I loved it though, it suited his pale skin well. I had grown out my own hair. We had also gone through with the lighter, more happier album, _Danger Days_. I liked it a lot. It had a certain charm.

“Guys, I just- shit.” My stomach dropped. Gerard sounded so defeated, and tired, and lifeless. His bright hazel eyes had dulled to a boring brown.

“What are we doing?” Gerard asked softly. He looked at each of us. “Honestly. What are we doing?”

“We’re-” Mikey started, but he was cut off.

“We’re doing our fucking jobs. We might as well be sucking corporate cock. Hell, I think we are. This band was never supposed to feel like a job. A source of income, maybe, but never a nine-to-five thing. That’s what this is. I mean, can you tell me you’re happy? Frankie?”

I looked up. “No.”

Gee looked at Ray and Mikey. They slowly shook their heads.

“Shit, Gerard,” Mikey gasped. He looked fucking terrified. “What are we supposed to do? I mean, the band…”

“I know, Mikes,” Gerard said quietly. “But it’s hard, you know. I mean, the drinking thing. I want to get sober. I do, so, so much. But I can’t do that and manage My Chem.” I looked at Gerard’s body. He was fucking skinny. The alcohol was making him starve himself.

“So what are you saying?” Ray spoke for the first time. I held my breath.

“I think we should break the band up. I think it’s just _time_. I’m not trying to make this all about me. But none of us are really happy anymore. When playing becomes a job…” He gestured helplessly.

“It’s time to put the guitar down and go,” I rasped out. My head was spinning. I knew the band would have to end sometime. I could sense it even after making _The Black Parade_. _Danger Days_ was never supposed to happen. But it did because Gerard wanted it to happen. He always got what he wanted.

It was silent for a long time. I kept my head down and absentmindedly traced my “Halloween” tattoo on my fingers.

“Yeah,” Ray said at last. “I mean, yeah, of course. We never gonna be doing this for the rest of our lives, right?”

No, I thought. I smiled, a little sadly, and thought about it all. Shit, it felt like we had just formed My Chem. It felt like I was still in Gerard’s basement, with a less-than-sober Gerard asking me if I would join the band, with me drunkenly agreeing. I remember our first kiss, which had happened after our first show. We had both been drunk out of our minds, and probably high as well, when I felt his moist lips press onto mine as he kissed me, both of us still high on adrenaline of completing our first show. That kiss had ended up with him blowing me in a dark, dirty alleyway. The next morning, when we were sober, we had sex and he became my first boyfriend.

“The end of an era,” Mikey was saying dramatically. He smiled, a real smile. “But we had a great run.”

“We did,” Ray agreed, smiling. “Making music, touring the world with my three best friends- _brothers_ \- it was the best thing in the world.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I didn’t hate being in a band with you fuckers for twelve years, either.” I swallowed back tears. “But, seriously, guys- thank you for this opportunity.”

“Please,” Gerard said, rolling his eyes. “This band would have never been the same without you- our spastic ball of energy.” I smiled, remembering some of the more crazy moments I had on stage.

Mikey ran to the kitchenette and came back a few minutes later with four steaming paper cups of coffee. He handed us each a cup along with a lit cigarette.

Gee raised his cup and we mimicked him. “To My Chemical Romance- to _Bullets_ , _Three Cheers_ , _The Black Parade_ , and _Danger Days_. To the fans- god, especially the fans. To Brian, Bob, Matt, Dewees, and Pedicone. To Eyeball Records and Warner Brothers. But most importantly, cheers to each and every one of us.”

“Cheers,” we chimed and brought our cups together. We all took a long sip of coffee and smoked our cigarettes.

When we finished, Gerard quietly announced that he was going to bed, and if we would tell Pedicone what we decided. Once he left, Mikey leaned over to whisper, “Go to him. And don’t let him out of your sight, Frankie. He’s really vulnerable right now.”

I nodded and left their room and entered our own. There, I found Gerard sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the wall.

“You okay?” I asked softly. He flinched and looked at me, quickly wiping away a tear.

“Fine,” he said, but his voice cracked. Wordlessly, I pulled him into a tight hug. I could hear him sobbing into my shoulder. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks. “Sorry, sorry, I just-” he started, before breaking down again.

“Shh, let it out,” I said hoarsely. I shifted us until he was curled up in my lap. His arms were locked in a death grip around my neck but I didn’t mind. My arms were supporting his waist.

I said little; I just let him cry. Finally, his hysterical sobs quieted into soft, choking hiccups. He pulled away from my damp shoulder and roughly scrubbed at his eyes, whimpering a little. I pulled his hand away and stroked the skin under his eyes. Gerard closed them and I kissed his closed eyelids.

“Why did you start drinking again?” I asked quietly. I had to know.

Gee let out a shuddering breath. “It was getting so hard to pretend. To go out on stage and be this person who I wasn’t anymore. It was driving me crazy.”

I tugged on the space where my lip ring used to be in frustration. “Okay, but why didn’t you let us help you?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t want to worry you,” he said.

“Worry us?! Gerard, whatever happens, we are there for you no matter what. Do you hear me?” I snapped. He nodded slightly and I let my tone soften. “Well, what’s done is done, I guess. Don’t worry. I’ll help you. Promise.” He smiled.

“Thank you. I’ve already called my sponsor. He’ll be contacting me tomorrow,” Gerard said. I nodded approvingly.

“Good. Don’t worry, babe. You’ll get through this. We can get through this.” I leaned down to kiss him. However, he pulled away, an odd expression on his face. My palms tingled nervously. He had never tried to escape a kiss before.

He’s probably still upset, I tried to rationalize.

“Something wrong?” I asked carefully, before mentally smacking myself. Everything was wrong. Geez, I’m an idiot.

“Um, yeah. Actually, Frank, I…”

“What?” I said hollowly. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“I want to break up,” Gerard said simply.

I stood up, dropping him on the floor, I realized dimly. “Oh,” I said faintly. His words rolled around in my brain. They were cold, emotionless. “Oh,” I said again, a little louder.

And then my world collapsed in pain. I dropped to my knees, clutching my head in agony.

 _What did I do? How did I not see this coming?_ I thought. I was wheezing. It hurt so bad. It felt like a hand had ripped through my chest and squeezed my heart and lungs until I couldn’t breathe. _Fuck._ Was I dying? My vision started gray out and I started feeling numb.

“Frank? Frankie?” A hand touched my shoulder and I slowly came to my senses.

“Don’t touch me!” I yelled. Gerard backed away, his hands up in surrender.

“Frank-”

“No! What, you wanna break up the band, and now you wanna break up with me? Are you just killing two birds with one stone?!”

“No!”

“Then what? Is this about Lindsey?”

It was silent for too long.

“No,” I whispered, feeling the blood drain from my face.

Gerard and Lindsey had still been friends. They had called and texted each other. After Gerard’s constant reassurances, I hadn’t worried that much. But now, it seemed like he was picking her over me. Again.

“I can’t keep doing this to you,” Gerard whispered. “I keep going back and forth between you and Lindsey. Do I pick comfort or something new? When I was drinking, I talked to Lindsey a lot. She actually talked me out of suicide a couple times.”

My mind spun. Had it really gotten that bad?

“I see.” My voice was barely audible. “And now what, you suddenly wanna be with her?”

“I actually have wanted to for a while,” he admitted.

“What the hell?!” I shrieked. I ground the heels of my palms into my eyes so I wouldn’t cry. “Well, please don’t let me stop you any longer!”

“Frankie-”

“Don’t call me that, motherfucker. Fuck you, Gerard, _fuck you_!” I screamed in his face. Then, before he could respond, I punched him in the face. Pain blossomed in my head, but it didn’t stop me from grabbing my wallet and getting the fuck out of that room.

“Frankie,” a voice called. I looked up to see Mikey and Ray at the opposite end of the hallway. I was so not in the mood for their comfort and I just shook my head at them and left the hotel.

I knew there was a bar a few blocks away. My feet were moving me in that direction before my mind could even comprehend it.

***

“Don’t cry,” I muttered to myself. “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.” My hood was drawn tight around my face, preventing me from getting recognized. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t stop sniffling as I pulled the door open to the bar. I perched on one of the stools and kept my eyes down as I tried to pull it together.

“Hey, buddy, what can I get ya?” I glanced up marginally to see a bartender’s arms, fully marked with ink. I liked him already.

"Um,” I said hoarsely. “Beer. And keep ‘em coming.”

The guy laughed softly, almost sympathetically. “Sure thing, buddy.”

“Rough night?” Inquired the soft voice to my left. I looked up, my hood falling down. The girl’s eyes, a pretty chocolate brown, lit up in recognition. “Hey, you’re Frank, right? Frank Iero? From My Chemical Romance?”

Her voice was low, but I bristled anyway. The last thing I wanted was to be hounded by a fan right now.

“Yeah, I am,” I said dully. “And I’m kinda off-duty right now.”

The girl laughed softly. Man, she was quiet. “Nah, I don’t want your autograph or anything.”

My beer was set down in front of me. “Good,” I grumbled. We were both silent as I sucked down my beer in quick gulps. I waved my empty bottle at my tatted friend and he quickly gave me a fresh one.

“Wanna talk about it, Frankie?” My head jerked over to her. She looked at me in concern.

“No,” I said sharply. “And don’t call me that.” I quickly downed my second beer and waited for the buzz to set in. I was actually a lightweight, so I knew it wouldn’t take long.

After about fifteen minutes, and a beer and a half later, I was finally getting the buzz I wanted.

“Hey,” I hissed to my neighbor. She looked at me. I gestured at her with my bottle. “C’mere.” The girl, who I dimly noticed was very pretty, hesitated. I let my face soften a bit. “It’s alright, c’mon.”

She finally scooted her chair closer to mine. “What’s your name?” I asked.

“Jamia,” she responded.

“Jamia, can you keep a secret?” I asked her seriously. Jamia nodded, her brown eyes steady and clear on mine. I leaned in closer to whisper the secrets that I had been dying to spill:

“It’s been a shitty night, Jamia. First off, and please don’t tell anyone, my band is breaking up.”

She gasped. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, I know. And then Gerard, yes the Gerard fucking Way A.K.A my secret boyfriend for twelve damn years decided he wants to break up with me, because apparently he has the hots for Lindsey Ballato from fucking Mindless Self Indulgence.”

The tears were freely falling from my eyes. I reached up to wipe them away with the sleeve of my hood. It didn’t even register that two small arms were wrapped around my waist and a soothing voice was murmuring in my ear.

“It’s gonna be okay, Frank, I promise,” Jamia said. I buried my face in her sweet-smelling neck and sobbed. The loss of Gerard and My Chem were too much… It was all too much…

Eventually I managed to stop crying. I looked at Jamia, horrified.

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized. “I don’t normally spill my guts to strangers and cry on them.” I laughed weakly.

“No problem, seriously. You looked like you needed it,” she said. I smiled tentatively at her. She grinned back. After that, Jamia and I spent hours getting to know each other. She was really charismatic and charming, though she had a very twisted sense of humor. I wish I could have met her on tour or something, but I was glad we had met now.

I excused myself to the bathroom to piss and wash my face and hands. My vision was swimming and I knew I had been slurring my words. Oh well. I shrugged and walked out of the bathroom only to bump into Jamia.

“Whoa,” I said and we both laughed. I was holding her up so she wouldn’t fall over, though to be honest, I wasn’t doing too much better myself.

Jamia smiled and ran a hand through my hair. I hesitantly leaned down until our foreheads touched. She sighed and we bumped noses. We grinned goofily at each other and stared into each other’s eyes.

Shit, her lips. They were pink, and soft, and inviting and for the first time since, like, high school, I wanted to kiss a girl.

Apparently she had been thinking the same thing because she leaned up and touched her lips to mine. It was sweet, quick, and hesitant, but we were both grinning when we pulled back.

“So, should we head back to my place?” Jamia whispered.

I laughed in surprise and blushed. “I can’t have sex with you tonight,” I said bluntly. “Gerard…” his name left a bitter taste on my tongue.

“God, you’re right. I’m so sorry. Fuck, I’m really drunk. But. Even so, I really don’t think you should be alone tonight. And I really don’t think you wanna share a bed with Gerard Way.”

“God, no,” I shuddered.

“Alrighty, then. C’mon, you can crash at my place.” I nodded and we held hands as we left the bar, and made the drunken walk back to Jamia’s apartment.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that. You okay? Still with me? 
> 
> If you need to yell at me, do so on twitter (@smyleygrl) where I post live updates on this fic and others!


	7. New Beginnings and Old Endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A final goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaack! So sorry to keep you waiting! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

I woke up with sun shining in my face. I groaned, feeling like I had been ran over with a truck. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I surveyed my surroundings.

Instead of seeing the flowered pattern of a hotel wall, along with its dismal matching sheets, I saw clean white walls littered with photos of people I didn’t know. The hardwood floors gleamed under the couch I was lying on. I sat up too quickly, I might add, and clutched my head and groaned.

“Morning, sunshine!” A cheerful voice chirped. I glanced up see a girl… Jamia! Oh. Fuck. Wait, what happened last night?

I searched for the blurry memories, trying to find a link, a chord, something to remember. That’s right. Gerard. Ending the band. Gerard. Gerard breaking up with me. Gerard. Going to a bar. Gerard. Drinking way too much. Gerard. Meeting Jamia. Jamia. Going back to her apartment…

I groaned again. “How many embarrassing things did I do last night?”

Jamia rolled her eyes to the ceiling and pretended to think. “Um, well, you were singing The Smiths on the way back to my apartment. Loudly. And I think you threw up in a gutter.”

I shut my eyes. Nice job, Iero. 

“Hey.” I looked up and she was touching my knee. "It's okay. Really. You were… pretty messed up last night.”

I swallowed. “Still. I don’t crash on people’s couches like this. Nor do I inconvenience them. I’m sorry, Jamia.”

Jamia surprised me by snorting. “Like you were in any shape to be left alone. Trust me, it’s really okay. Plus, it’s not like I get to harbor famous guitarists every day.” She smiled cheekily at me. I couldn’t resist smiling back. 

“Well, please feel free to harbor me anytime,” I offered. 

“I will take you up on that,” Jamia said seriously and for a moment, we were simply just staring into each other’s eyes, all joking aside. 

She was first to look away. “So. Um. Breakfast?” Clearing my throat, I nodded. 

“'Kay. I think I have cereal. Want cereal?”

“Sure. Just no regular milk.” Jamia nodded.

“That’s fine. I’m pretty sure I have soy…” she trailed off, looking awkward. “Um, just let me get dressed first.” And before I could respond, she had darted through the hallway and into a room with the door closed. I stood up from the couch and ran a hand through my hair. What had I gotten myself into?

 

***

 

A couple hours later, Jamia and I were parked in front of the hotel that I had angrily left from last night. Looking at it now gave me chills. 

I sighed, looking down at my lap. After the initial awkwardness we had shared, Jamia and I managed to shake it off and shared a great breakfast together. I had even managed to convince her to let me clean up, and she had agreed, setting up her iPod, and blasting The Ramones. We loudly sang along to the music, probably disturbing the neighbors, occasionally splashing each other with water and giggling like two kids. 

I wish I could go back to that moment. 

Now I was sitting in Jamia’s car, trying desperately not to throw up. I breathed out harshly. Suddenly, there was a hand on mine and a small head resting itself on my shoulder. I flipped over my hand so that it was holding Jamia’s and rested my head on top of hers. We both sighed.

“Breathe. It’ll be okay, Frank,” she soothed quietly. I nodded. I didn’t want to go in there and face the mess that I created. But I had to. I swallowed my nausea down and looked back up at the hotel. Slowly, I removed my hand from Jamia’s. I gave her fingers one last little squeeze before I let go completely.

“I should go,” I whispered. She nodded.

“Okay,” she whispered back.

I got out of the passenger side of the car and walked to the hotel. I paused when Jamia called my name.

“Yeah?” I said, immediately running back to her. She pushed my long hair out of my eyes and grinned at me shyly.

“It was nice meeting you,” she said sincerely. “And I wish you the best of luck with everything. Maybe the next time you’re in California we can meet up?”

“Yeah.” I smiled back brightly. “Yeah of course.” I patted my pockets for my phone but came up empty. “Fuck, I left my phone in the room.”

“No problem. What’s the number?” I told her, and smiling mischievously, she grabbed her cell and dialled. I opened my mouth to interrupt her, but she stuck a finger up at me, telling me to wait, while she yelled, “HEY FUCKFACE, ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE!”

I burst out laughing as she smugly hung up the phone and grinned at me. “Now you have my number.”

“I think,” I wheezed. “That is going to be my new ringtone.”

“Yay,” Jamia cheered between giggles. Eventually we managed to compose ourselves, still letting out the occasional snort. 

“Ahh, well,” I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. “It was an absolute pleasure getting to know you, Jamia Nestor.”

“You too, Frank Iero,” she replied solemnly, then winked. Hesitating for only a moment, I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. I felt her skin burn and blush under my lips, and it made my breath hitch. Then I walked away, murmuring a “bye” under my breath.

 

***

 

I paused outside the hotel room and took a deep breath. I raised my fist, poised to knock when an extremely pissd off looking Ray flung open the door.

“Frank, oh my god, thank god,” Ray was saying over and over. Before I could respond to him, he had punched me in the arm. Hard.

“Oww, fucker,” I whined, rubbing the spot where he had punched me. “Why?”

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Ray cried. His whole countenance was full of worry and anger.

“I went out to a bar last night, then crashed at a friend’s place.” I explained. There. It was vague but it was the truth.

“We were worried about you, Frankie,” came Mikey’s soft voice from the bed. I looked over hesitantly and I saw him sitting there, with Gerard right next to him. Gerard had an unusual amount of foundation on, and I realized that I must have given him a black eye last night. I wondered if the guys knew that.

Gerard looked at me in concern. I allowed myself to stare for approximately two seconds before looking back at Ray.

“We were… um, tying up loose ends I guess. About the break up. We sent out an official statement last night after you left. I’d stay away from social media for a couple hours, but eventually we’ll all have to say something. Gee just finished writing a letter. You should read it.” I nodded, dazed by all the information, and stumbled over to Gerard’s side.

Kneeling down next to Gerard, I wordlessly motioned for the laptop and he handed it to me. I found myself fighting back tears as he explained his reasons for the break up. I loved the ending where he explained that My Chem wasn’t a band, but an idea. 

I looked at Gerard and smiled. He smiled back at me. He was still so beautiful…

“This is good, Gerard,” I said softly. Gerard nodded his head.

“Thanks, Frankie. I needed to make sure it had your approval first,” he said back. Then he cleared his throat and addressed the room. “Can you give us a minute, guys?” Mikey, Ray, and Pedicone (who had been silently sitting in the desk chair) all nodded and left the room quietly. Gerard took back his laptop and sent the letter. He sighed before shutting the laptop and turning to face me fully. 

“Frank, I am so sorry about last night,” Gerard apologized sincerely. “I could have handled that way better and I didn’t. I’m so sorry for any pain that I caused you about anything. The band, us…” he trailed off, a hand going to embed itself in his long scarlet locks.

I swallowed and nodded. “Thank you for your apology, Gerard.” I said coldly, formally. “But I can’t forgive you.”

His face crumpled. “Why not?” 

“You hurt me too bad, Gerard. It hurts to even look at you. I can’t just forgive you like that.” He nodded.

“Can we still be friends?” I sighed sadly. 

“I don’t think so. This hurts. A lot. You hurt me.” I explained. Gerard nodded. I nodded back, and before I could stop myself, I leaned forward to kiss him.

You’re an idiot, I told myself as I shoved my tongue into his mouth. He opened his mouth to me easily and sighed in ecstasy. I shoved him towards the bed and shoved him onto it, straddling his waist.

His hips rose up to meet mine and I groaned as I felt the familiar heat. I grabbed his hips and he grinded into me. Gerard moaned.

"Yeah, you like that, don’t you slut,” I said breathily into his ear. He nodded frantically. I chuckled and grabbed his hand so that it covered my crotch. He got the hint and started rubbing me. I whimpered.

“You will never feel this way with her,” I said bitterly. “You’ll be thrusting into her one day and wondering why it doesn’t feel the same. Why you can’t get the same reaction. I’m sure it’ll feel good, physically, but that mental bond? That was us, Gerard, that was only ever us.” He was looking at me, still rubbing, but there were tears in his eyes. I looked away and grinded down on him as I continued.

“I don’t know why you wanna be with her,” I said sadly. “Maybe it’s because she could give you a normal life. I guess you don’t have to hide with her. I’m sorry we couldn’t last. Just-” I paused. My breathing was getting heavy from the emotions and the fact I was about to come. “-Just remember me, Gerard Way. Remember- oh fuck!” I yelled as I came hard, my underwear instantly getting ruined. 

I stayed on top of Gerard for a while, fighting back tears. He patted my back and kissed my hair, sighing heavily. Eventually, I climbed off him, realizing he was still hard and hadn’t came.

I grabbed my stuff and left Gerard still lying on the bed, still staring at me. I paused with my hand on the door knob.

“Goodbye, Frank,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

“Goodbye, Gerard,” I whispered back. As soon as I had the door closed, I burst into tears again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter (@smyleygrl)! Thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> *Sigh* I just love NIN, don't you? And I think with Gerard and his dirty mind, "Closer" just seemed like an appropriate song, no? ;)
> 
> So that's the first chapter! Comments (good and critical, not mean), are appreciated, as are kudos. Let me know what I can approve on, especially with the smut. Thanks, guys!!! :) <3


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